APPRECIATING the PETERS2 FAMILY, cont

...so it's a new day and I'm blogging at a different starbucks today and still intent on my quest to APPRECIATE the PETERS2 family just for being alive and well (i hope)...life's too short to hold grudges even for large or small amounts of money... i finally realized the deeper meaning of Jesus' teachings to "walk an extra mile" with your enemy...and that's not to say the Peters2 family are our, or my, enemy, but that because of the "financial transaction" of grandpa Peters who I affectionately call, at times, "Grandpa Butterball" for some time various members of my nuclear family and extended family (on the Peters 1 side) felt cheated. So it took some time to overcome thinking in terms of 20th century (or 21st century) legal jurisprudence...or the traditional sense of "fairness" and start thinking in terms of "Jesus justice" which is essentially NOT fighting for our rights , or certain rights, at times, albeit we STILL fight for the rights of others and defend the cause of the weak, the widow, et al. 

...but when it comes to fighting for money...at times we must take off our coat and give it to our adversary..and say, "It's all yours" ...as much as that may offend our traditional sense of jurisprudence...the deeper meaning will slowly but surely dawn on you...if you allow it to do so...as it has for me.. and it's an "open secret"... which people may tell you, but you won't understand until you put it into practice, as difficult as it may be for some people..

..so back to the MAIN POINT of this blog...and that is, appreciating the Peters2 familyu. Mark Peters is the oldest of the Peters2 family...two years older than me, one year younger than my older sister, and one year older than my older brother. My sister Julia and  Mark were both strong-willed persons, both of them the oldest siblings in their nuclear families...and so when we had social gatherings they would occasionally clash, ..ha ha funny in retrospect, ...

...one time we were at the "big house" (ie the butterball mansion at 750 Plymouth...which at the time, and maybe still..was the largest house in Grand Rapids...maybe in West Michigan.. very well possible..it was definitely a "mansion" in classic terms, not a "McMansion", ...it was all brick and mortar..with a brick driveway ...a big green lawn surrounded by beautiful shrubs & trees...and a an outdoor "fountain" which was basically the size of a swimming pool and apparently used as such at times, and a nice tennis court in back, with a detached 6-stall (or more) garage behind it...everything about it was beautiful...and still is (last time I heard, Uncle Mark was still trying to sell it, and had received approval from the city to make it a split property, so somebody could build another house on part of the grounds; I hope they don't tear down the mansion, it's too classic & beautiful to lose it)...

.. anyways, one Thanksgiving we had gathered at the mansion for a big meal and some socializing..and after the meal Mark & Julie got into a big argument...and then Ani also got involved...and they were in one of the bedrooms with Mark trying to get in...and they kept pushing the door shut and he would insert a stick between the door and the jam...and they would SLAM it again..and this happened several times..until there was some slight damage to the beautiful wood surrounding the doorway (as you can imagine based on my description of the exterior, the interior was just as classic and of fine quality with an impressive spiral staircase as the focal centerpiece of the house) ..which of course caused grandpa to get angry...not sure what came of it..but usually that meant somebody must "pay" for it..whether it was Mark alone or Julie & Ani..as well... somebody HAD to pay IF damage was done..grandpa had to teach a lesson about responsibility..same thing with a record player that was broken at the cottage one summer..somebody in our nuclear family was blamed, rightly or wrongly, and my mom had to give cold, hard, cash to pay for it, to satisfy the Peters2 family... kind of funny in retrospect...but it made some people's "blood boil" at the time.. 

... but you see this many  years later it can be APPRECIATED rather than something to be eternally upset about.. it's kind of comical in retrospect..meaningless in terms of hanging on to any anger about.. 

STAY TUNED for more 

SO, for those who don't know, the Peters family is my mom's side of the family. And actually there are TWO Peters family, which I call "Peters 1" and 'Peters 2"  . The Peters 1 family is my mom's nuclear family that began with her father, Leo, & mother Helen. From Leo & Helen came Martha, Linda (my mom), Diana, Barbara, Brenda, & Sandra... all daughters. Some of the older daughters were born in Evanston, Illinois, ...the rest were born in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where grandpa Leo had moved the family after starting his butter business. 

I've written this story before in various forms and manners, and I won't repeat the same narrative here, because NOW I am focusing on changing the narrative to a redemptive, reconciliatory perspective...or simply, appreciation. This is about appreciating the Peters 2 family, about whom some of us from the Peters 1 family have some "grudges"...perhaps justified..or to be honest definitely justified I should say, but my purpose is to place "legal justice" in the background for now and forever..and simply focus on appreciating the Peters 2 family. 

So i began by mentioning the Peters 1 family. The daughters all grew up and married and had children and are/were very successful in their careers and/or as homemakers and raising children, etc. Well, all except one..I might add that one of the daughters, Brenda, was born mentally disabled. She could not take care of her own basic needs without life-long full-time assistance. She eventually ended up living in a loving group home in Chicago and died a few years ago after a fairly long life. 

Meanwhile, the Peters 1 family also had to overcome a tragic loss of their mother Helen at an early age. No need to re-hash the details, but the daughters were in their teens when she died. Nonetheless, life went on and they continued to go to school in Grand Rapids,...and to Calvin College, and progressed with their lives. At the same time, their father, Leo, continued to operate his butter factory, and eventually remarried to the woman who was working at the Peters 1 home as a cleaner/caretaker etc At some point grandpa Leo hired Nancy to help out around the house, and apparently a romantic relationship eventually developed and they married. This was the beginning of the Peters 2 family.  

From Leo & Nancy came Mark, Andrea, & Theresa. Mark was/is two years older than me. Andrea is one year older, and Theresa is about the same age and was in my same graduating class in high school (Grand Rapids Christian High). 

For many years as we were growing up in Grand Rapids (and when I say "we" now I am speaking of my nuclear family; my mom, Linda, married my dad, Jim, & together they had Julia, Andrew, ME, & Steve) we had some good, fun times, with the Peters 2 family. Together we spent time at Lake Michigan every summer...where I learned how to water-ski, do a flip on a trampoline, & make home-made ice-cream, among other things. We would go blueberry picking...and horseback riding at Teusinks (?) and walk to tunnel park or even sometimes to Holland beach...and it was a great time to have the Peters 2 kids ...our same ages... to hang out with !

And at other times of the year we had some fun social gatherings at grandpa's house back in Grand Rapids (Holland Michigan is where the cottage was...on Lake Michigan...about 30 miles from Grand Rapids where grandpa & the Peters 2 family lived (in the same house that my mom & her sisters grew up) and where his factory was...and where we lived and attended school and church as well). Grandpa was in the "culinary' business. His big business was fancy butter for fancy restaurants, albeit where the real money came in was from the McDonalds contract. His factory, Butterball, supplied McDonalds with their little breakfast butter patties, and they still do, to this day. As you can imagine, anything having to do with McDonalds is big business. 

However, grandpa also dabbled in meat, especially different ways of trying to cook meat so that it retains maximum juicyness. Hence, any social gathering around Thanksgiving or Christmas usually meant a big meal at the big long table in the big house. We would sit around and socialize and eat great meat of one kind or another along with fancy butter and all the various fixings. 

The good times lasted from elementary days thru junior high and then there was some dissension due to some financial actions to put it very generally made by my grandfather that caused some emotional hurt amongst various members of the Peters 1 family, including my mom. i don't need to go into the specific details of this again..I've done so in other writings, so I will leave it as such. The result of this "financial action" was less harmony between the Peters 2 & Peters 1 family. There was dissension, distrust, even anger at times. not to mention hurtfulness... some people felt cheated and wronged according to a traditional notion of justice.  When I focused on these things from a legal/justice perspective I too felt angered, cheated, wronged, & hurt, and for a while took "pragmatic" actions to try to effectuate justice; perhaps some of this helped to a certain extent, but not fully. It didn't truly or fully restore any of the disparities that came out of the "financial action" of my grandpa. 

And I will leave it at that for now in terms of talking about the "financial action." I will refer to it as a "financial action" from now on if and when I need to refer back to this specific time & place that changed the relations between Peters 1 & 2 family members. But my hope is to "move on" from that time& place and from here on after  focus on simply appreciating the Peters 2 family for being alive & well. Simple as that. I want to forget the financial action that my grandpa began and the rest of the Peters 2 family will  eternally "profit" from at the expense of others and simply be happy that they are alive and well and continue to be so. 

I want to focus on their happiness and well-being rather than any aspects of legal justice . I don't know what suddenly entered in  to me...but I was filled with this feeling today as I arrived where I am right now and typing these words. I want to be less analytical about the history of our family and more focused on a "pastoral care" perspective towards my extended family, especially the Peters 2 family, with the focus on the good times....playing with them at the cottage..waterskiing, playing tether ball, jumping on the trampoline, .. swimming in Lake Michigan,... on the innertubes..on the catamaran, .. in the motorboat..  at the Christmas parties.. seeing my "Aunt Teri" at school ..;part of my same graduating class.. God bless her and the Peters 2 family...

ALL I care about now is their well-being and happiness. And I will continue this ...stay tuned for more